Morning Depression

coldness fills the floor space
as I lift my heavy eyes
I quickly wash my face
and put on today’s disguise

Outside await choices
of which I live in fear
inside my head so many voices
so many voices I can’t hear


I Want It All…..and I Want It Now!

Got a cheap espresso maker from my mom (she is aware of my affinity for caffeine), and I must say I am enjoying learning this new art. And when I say Im enjoying it, what I mean is I am becoming increasingly frustrated with it.

A few days ago, I had NO experience whatsoever making espresso, and I almost wish I could go back. I know now that I’ve opened a can of worms, the likes of which Pandora could probably relate to.

Now may be the appropriate moment to mention I’m nearly (98.5%) sure I have severe OCD. Nowadays everyone seems to have their own idea of what that means, so Ill elaborate. When I start something, making espresso, or yo-yoing, or playing guitar, or writing poetry, or any of a million other things, I have this weird need to amass every bit of info on the subject ever spoken, written, or thought of…enter Google.

Now this seems at first like a good thing, to be well informed, and is a product of the way my brain works. However, the problem is when to stop amassing information, and start doing. When to go from theory, to action, a problem I run into in various disciplines, and one to which I haven’t made the slightest headway in finding a solution.

It’s as if I want to “figure it all out” and then start, do it perfect the first time.

I can understand that this is foolish, that a thing must be practiced routinely to be developed over TIME….WHAMMO! there it is, I’ve struck the heart of the issue, I believe. Time…

I am soooo impatient, I want to be an exceptional poet now, I want to make good espresso now, I want to play guitar like Jimi now, I want it ALL, I want it ALL and I want it NOW!!!

In relation to making espresso this has gotten me in a pickle. There’s all these techniques, and tools (some of which I don’t have), and not only that but there is contention about all these techniques and tools, and im sure there is contention about these contentions….

So here I am with modest tools, some of which are missing, a less than modest know-how of the art of brewing this rich goodness, and limitless ambition to achieve excellence…o and apparently lots of time to figure out how to meld the two.

I guess Ill update you on my search for the holy grail….a modestly priced cappuccino. Until then, Ill be amassing more info, and trying my damnedest to take a break and practice from time to time.

New Blog-The Constant Hum

So, I decided to make another blog, and it seems awfully appropriate, almost cosmically ordained.

It’s called The Constant Hum

I intend this blog to be the complement to my poetry blog, the two blogs representing the two sides of my personality, diametrically opposed, yet fueling each others’ growth.

The title comes from the way my brain works, it is CONSTANTLY whirring and humming away, trying to figure it ALL out. This blog will be where I have conversations with myself, and hopefully you, about issues I find important or noteworthy, or funny, or stupid, basically things I am thinking about, and I am ALWAYS thinking…

Knowledge for Sale!

Why is education in this country looked at as a product to be sold–in the capitalist tradition–at a marked-up price that deems it good or valuable. We hear someone went to Harvard or Yale, and we think, wow! they must be really smart. Why? Because they spent too much money learning what they could have learned somewhere else for a different price. Is Harvard a good school because it charges so much for tuition, or does it charge so much for tuition because it’s a good school? You’d probably be better off figuring out whether the chicken or the egg came first(hint: chickens love scrambled eggs).

My point isn’t really the quality of education at Harvard, I’m sure it’s top notch. My qualms are with the ridiculous amounts of money they and the majority of universities find acceptable to charge individuals for that education. Should a person really have to go into debt if they aren’t well off just to become educated about their world. Something about this REALLY angers me. I admire countries that provide for their citizens to go to school, not just the ones who want to jump through hoops for handouts, but ALL citizens.

Bottom Line: Why should we fatten the pockets of those in charge at these schools any longer. Our generation WILL pay the price for their greed, unless we stop accepting the status quo, and start asking WHY?

Chest Relief

you know the type?,
tell you how to life your life,
but hows theirs lookin?…
Im just tryin to find whats true,
wonderin what Im supposed to do,
and just between me and you
i dont believe in secrets
and to be honest
it’s hard to be real
with anyone but myself,
don’t need no self help,
just self motivation,
acoustic instrumentation
and security from Annihilation..

thought i was done but i aint,
thought i could quit but i can’t,
gotta get this shit off my chest,
lies, injustice, hate
and all the rest,
what are we doing
with this planet we share,
why doesnt anyone
act like they care,
take a second to ask
what you know is real,
when you figure it out
let me know how you feel,
too many people
not enough love,
moral integrity?
whats it made of?
love and truth,
beauty and freedom,
faith and hope
do we really need em?
they bring suffering
and disillusioned youth
and I can’t help but wonder…
if ideals aren’t popular illusions?…
neatly packaged and sold as truth

im just plain sick,
people think they understand
but they don’t,
I try to let them be,
but they can’t stand me…
they tell me to change but i WONT

We Are the Music Makers…

and we are the dreamers of dreams….

one of the scenes I like in Waking Life is one where the main character is walking next to a train and suddenly this guy pops out of the train and starts talking to him:

Man on the Train: Hey, are you a dreamer?
Wiley: Yeah.
Man on the Train: I haven’t seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore. It’s not dead it’s just that it’s been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists. The dreamer is banished to obscurity. Well, I’m trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds. Our planet is facing the greatest problems it’s ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don’t be bored, this is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting.


if you have not seen this movie do yourself a favor and savor it.
it can be downloaded free of charge from google vidoes at this link
Waking Life Download

or for your convenience you can watch it right over there >—–>
…if you use firefox that is…if you use ie, you might
not be able to watch it here, but try anyway, if nothing happens
go watch it at google, or dont, but do…and then go
and download firefox, cuz internet explorer sux.