Decisions, Decisions…

text from mom
shrimp skewers
and stuffed venison
steaks

two hours of driving
is it worth it?
what will I miss?

what if some great
occurence occurs
and Im not there

or worse what if
Im there
but the occurence
in fact
does not occur

How did I get
so indecisive
and afraid
of interaction

afraid to do
anything, afraid
of choices, more
specifically, the
unchosen choice

Im sure Ill just
sit at home
waiting…
just waiting…

The Blue Snow Falls *revised*

This disjointed series
Of serious choices
Has left me cold

I listen with ease
To erratic voices
Some new, some old

They pontificate about white
Snowflakes and blue skies
The products of reflected light
Caught by optic eyes

They never see
Skies of white,
Or blue snowflakes

They never see
Flux as right
They like static fakes.

A Blue Snowstorm

this disjointed series
of serious choices
leaves me cold.

I listen with ease
to uninformed voices
new and old
pontificate about white
snowflakes and blue skies
which, having seen
with optic eyes
they think they understand
well enough to teach.

They never see a white sky,
a blue snowflake,
and only I,
only I know why.

Flicker

You say I make you laugh,
more than yourself, more than giraffes
in turtle-necks, and you giggle
because I smiled when you said turtle.

Did it ever ocurr to you to think,
every single time you blink,
the world is gone
and your alone, alone, so alone.

You give me so much flak
Im considering not coming back,
but the warmth of your words
bridges barriers and heals hurts,

It draws me in like neon glows
in the storefronts before they close
which always make me cry
The light flicks off, and then we die.

Ironic, Don’t You Think?

I sit alone at my job,
it’s cold and I need
a dose of mental stimulation.
I crack wide the poet’s
companion, and prepare
for timely inspiration,

when Peggy and Jimmy,
elite in the chain of command,
and powerful in many ways,
stroll near, post up, and chat,
about some random thing
for what seems like days.

They give no thought,
to the fact that I
can’t concentrate.
But I’m determined to read
so I try, then hear them,
the train is lost, so now I wait.

Like little mosquitoes
buzzing just to make noise,
it seems they aim to annoy.
Just when I think, no more!
they begin to make an exit,
and I nearly jump for joy.

So then, back to the quiet
and the peace of the page
another distraction, Peggy again
she needs a rubber band
so she gets it and then
“Awful quiet up here huh?”
she says with a grin.

The Ultimate Irony

very rough, but had to write this, otherwise I would have had to hurt someone…certain things just REALLY iritate me, and this is one.

im sitting at a desk
the library is cold
I open up the poet’s
companion

when the dean and a
librarian come strolling
up

not to talk to me
but to carry on
and cackle for
a good twenty minutes
about god knows what

they could care
less about the
book in my hands
or their voices
invading my
ears

like little mosquitoes
buzzing, distracting
I’ve read this sentence
five times, can’t you do
this somewhere else?

I am just an adornment
a decoration for the
desk

I just want them to leave
but they must be
proving god’s existence
or tackling illiteracy

after I’ve contemplated
murder, they finally
keep cackling but
start shifting away
from me

So then, back to the quiet
but wait, the dean is back
she needs a rubber band
and she smiles and says
“Awful quiet up here
by yourself, huh?”